Just life

I guess everyone's a bit emotional as our particular age and aat the particular time,
where everything comes in...
People rise , people fall...
With unmeasurable pain and happiness...
surging within one's hearts...
Faces of Sorrow and nothingness visits me everyday...
In the mirror, or at the door..
sometimes I laugh and smile alone...
Am I really laughing and smiling?
or is it just a fake...
trying to get myself up?I myself cannot answer this question ,
because I myself do not know the answer..
Some have PMS, some tries to laugh their way though, some tries to hide..
But... HaiZ... It still takes time bah...
The thing is absolutely free though priceless...
some wants more, some rather kill it, and some wants it back..
haha, what an irony...
something Worthless and desireable at the same time..
Heal... Would it heal, or it is just that you are getting used to the pain ?

Suffering and Fear Vs. Pain and enjoyment.
sounds sadistic... but it isn't...
I guess it is one of the best terms to describe the solemn
when i entered the theatre, furthermore I was outnumbered..
8 vs. 1..The only thing I could do is to obey their orders,
while I laid in the lights, half-naked from the bottom..
I shivered and panicked...
while needles are pierced and solutions are pump into my body...
immoblizing my every movement...
Though I was conscious,
But I was still knocked out by the fatigue of the day..
witnessing the Gruesome process,
My eyes starts to fail me.
DArkness then settled upon me

All heads down...
Pai4 Gackt..
See the score of his song...
Bow down to him sia...
Chao nice Chao Hard..
like orchestra like that...
Classical + pop + Malice Mizer = Reformed Gackt..
Chao Zai~!

U can be good.
U can be Evil.
Theres only one line separating them.
Evil thought and emotions leads one to be evil...
Good Thoughts and emotions leads one to be good...

The is dedicated to all those with love out there...
Have u forgotten the true meaning of love?
Love leads to jealousy, hatred, anger, fights, disputes...
Then how can it be considered love anymore?
I myself regard the word as what a god would do...
To love, to be considerate, to respect and no causing Any Bad feelings at all,
no matter it is anger, hatred, despise, whatever...
Yes, these feeling may come time to time, but it is the turn of the other party to love u.
And Talk is out peacefully, or in words or any form of communication..
Not only for relationships, but in friendships too...
Do whatever to help and love the other friend or lover or even a perfect stranger...
Scold if u must, but it must wake the senses of the other partner and not spoiling your friendship..

I pledged my loyalty from the start to the end..
Things changed..
samurais aren't needed for the country anymore..
However, I wish the spirit of the samurai can hit the heart of the lord.
However, things are different from the movie..
though Long live the spirit.. but it may not benefit the country..
So long live the country..
and I shall continue in search of the spirit..

Calmity is something very difficult to achieve.
However, I wish the dreams would come true for everyone~...
Especially people reading my blog heh heh ...
Wishing You all happy until mouth dun close..
haha~...
and for myself too~..

Although I am not felling very good..
but I wish For ur happiness, weiman...
I miss you and I love you yes its true...
but Good luck to U...
She would not be reading this bah...
haha~....
we shouldn't be too evil bah...
since she has her new liking...
Then let her be happy bah...
Sorry yvonne for spoiling your mood bah...
I apologise for my rudeness...
though she wouldn't be reading too...
but still I need to apologoise...
things has changed...
Then I guess its time for me to change further...
To adapt to the society bah...
Thanks all that had helped me...
Special Thanks to ZiXiang~!
he calmed me down..
haha~...Thank you everyone for playing Kaobi's Blogspot too...
Produced by Blogger.

Having no target to work on,
I have no restriction to myself,
or simply say, no determination to restrict...
No Reason to restrict...
But... Isn't that a bit naive?
Have I grown enough to face the world?
Or am i living in the world of myself?
Strong on the outside, weak on the inside...
how many people are like this?
ignoring internal fears,
hiding far from them and giving excuses..

Rain.
雨
pluie
pioggia
비
Regen
chuva
lluvia

The Craze of Para Para died off in one day...
With the retriction of judgement and sensors... The game seems locked and caged...
I can no longer be free and unique... I need to keep and repeat...
Today is a birthday of a fren that I have not seen in a long time with the name of Seng Hong...
I doubt he knows I have this blog anyway... well Happy Birthday~!
whats left in me?
10 straight losses to martin in KOF'03.. sianZ...
my life = arcade liao... alamak die...
dunno why... maybe at Our age, is the age where BGR problems occur the most, with nearly everyone beside me with problems... including myself lar....
getting back the sianZipua Ness... haiZ....
Blog I miss u man...
I miss man too...
haha....
a day in the drain once again...
goals to set.
targets to achieve..
attempts to fail.
chances to succeed.
I guess its all in the mind bah...
How I can live his life is how he sees his life...
although I am not denying the fact that I hate myself... haha~... >_<
Some may think this is Crap.. Some may wanna read this.
For all those who think is crap, I apologize for the time u wasted in my blog...
and for all those who read them... thanks for reading~~....

today = siao day...
did a lot of things....
haha~...
however... basically only playing games...
haha...
In a day I played almost more than $30 worth of games...
haha~....
thats not a lot....
haha~...
Including Virtual Cop 3(completed with my bro), GGXX (tio thrashed), KOF (tio thrashed too), drums (Passed Minaneko no rock(wrong spelling though)),Guitar Freaks...( play until finger spasm) and lastly Para Para~~!!(dance until siao liao) haha~...
Btw... anyone with nothing to do... I recommend something...
The Last Samurai..
Very Nice show.. in my opinion lar~...
I will rate at least 9/10..
though the show a bit emotional for me...
hahah~...
btw thats all... a bit of ang pow... a bit og shattered galaxy...
thats my life...
haiZ... gambate ne minna~~!

Respect and tolerance.
Care and Consideration.
Encouragement and Help.
Love and patience.

Everyday reached home then Shagged liao...
how to mug....
then see the tutorial... then ZZZzzz....
haha~

To Mug To Train~!...
lacking the basics to mug...
lacking the motivation to train...
ZZZzzzZZZzzz

-WhatEver-

Wishing everyone to be truely happy...
jia you bah da jia~~...
hahah~~

Pray for your enemy.

haha~,,,,
Good and Bad day...
haiZ...
feeling the sianness again lor...
before that was so hyper... then the mood simply died off...
haiZ...
I guess I am quite worked up inside bah...
but nevermind... learning how to adapt to these is good.
well...
nice day of training I guess.

Chao Cute de xiao mei mei ~~... (Nina, my favourite character, but tragic end)
in Full metal alchemist~~.. (super nice anime = must watch)
kaoZ eh ~~~>....
I wish I have a daughter like her sia~~....
chao cute~

EvIl~!
Must go for the rim~!.
haha~.

routine day starting...
sianZ.... facing similar homework, physical, slack...
nothing seems interesting ler...
ZZZzzz boring life...~
no fun ~.

Protector


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

True to a extent certain, except for to everybody turning to me part..

the light of the screen lets the room..
a shadow is cast into the darkness..
with a statue of solitude remaining silent...
the mood blending into the early night...
air moves, wind blows, skin feels...
endless or forever... becoming and undoing...
I sit on my chair unmoved...

B.A.D
我的错


作词:杨明学 作曲:Minski

飞机已离开机场
你选择了前往你的方向
不再迷惘
忘了我们爱的过往
忘了我给你的伤
学会坚强

从前的我不懂你牺牲多大
为我失去朋友不讲
还放弃了所有梦想
觉得没怎样
不会将心比心去想
让你慢慢慢慢失去了希望

能不能够再给我机会好好的爱你
我会仔细的聆听
你对我说的一言一语
我会学会去控制脾气不让你伤心
对你好好的去珍惜
请你相信我的心还是爱你

我想再重来一次
回到过去弥补你的伤
没那种事
怎么做才能够停止
后悔竟伤你如此
不再放肆

为何总到失去才懂的难过
当你在我身边的时候
总是为我默默守候
都是为我的错
错过这难得的拥有
就让你爱我的心慢慢溜走

能不能够再给我机会好好的爱你
我会仔细的聆听
你对我说的一言一语
我会学会去控制脾气不让你伤心
对你好好的去珍惜
请你相信我的心还是爱你

trauma.

sorry ar kkh...
blogged at night lazy to find a avatar for u ...
haha...
C'mon lets be happy~...
lets us go on with what we are... and what we want...
Strive for Your own happiness.. its yours...
but remember u must also be ready to handle the consequences...
or else I better ask u to give up...
I hope everyone finds happiness!
Gambate Ne~! Jia you bah ~!..

haiZ...
still sunken in the pool of deep guilt and sorrow.
argh...
tired... but need to do work...
argh...

hahez eh....
the quiet blog... the atmosphere is dull...
The place is calm.. Lonely or peaceful?
haha.. I should stop asking myself questions like these...
haha...
Perhaps, My body condition is weak bah..
tend to fall ill now a days...
just recovered from chicken pox, and now I am feeling a bit feverish again..
with tons of homework to catch, and sleep time to change too..
wanting to concentrate and change..
but Its easier said then done bah .... have i changed for the better?..
I think not... but whats the next step I should take? I felt that every step I taken was wrong..
the further I step in the further I am lost.. sighZ...
Hmmm... I wish there could be some guidance to the correct path bah..
haha~... Long day today indeed... but sort of slack lar haha..
With the possibility of joining Chinese Society. hahaha~... >_<
I dunno lar..
must join a CCA with someone I know inside or else I will pon..
haha~

Today was quite a meaningful day to me bah...
Experienced alot, saw a lot, though it was mostly in the later part of the day..
However, in the morning I had some good talk with jialiang, relieving what was trapped within..
haha, things changed.. things really did changed just in the short year's time...
everyone had their problems, everyone had very significant changes, some physically, some mentality and some in the attitute...
What I see for myself, is that I changed in all 3 ways, however what I can say is it was a bit not for the better... things just are not the way I tried...
I rediscovered school again today, had the simple and awkward feeling of the first 3 months last year...
heard cheers, saw games.. some memories did came up to me.. happy or sad, they were there...
Hmmm.... though the class had more or less started playing shattered galaxy, and that was a form of communitcation between them..
I felt different.... very different.... dunno lar... atmosphere, classes and everything else.. seems familiar yet new.. am I to be reformed? I dunno...
kae, lets skip the school part bah... most of the time I was very seh lar... haha... ZZZzzzZZZzzz
after that, S Q daus, roxy, jialiang and me went to tiong bahru... kae.. some talk was along the way..
Jia liang if u are reading this, take care kae! sometimes just dun think too much bah... thats how I feel..
Go with the flow yo~!...
haha... Damn tired.. not enuff sleep, however while typing this a bit vitalising lar.. haha~...
Went to Marche with ZX and Frens. haha.. very interesting lot of frens I must say... but I saw something in them lar.. the bond is strong and it is nice... everyone laughing together, trying to make me feel not that Extra... haha~... while they are very yi qi types of ppl. Nice bunch of frens eh ~...
but I guess the Bday went a bit too far off lar... then Zx got a bit "injured" due to the vast amount of jecting and "gangbanging" but his fellow frens... very nice though~..
hahah~... but ZX take care kae.... Live well ! I wanna GG ikusan with u again one hor~!
however, the part that sort of touched me or dunno how to describe bah...
ZX was half-dead.. on the verge of vomiting and the intense pain from the jects.
When someone said "da nan bi you hou fu"
ZX roared his heart out, " I want JAS!!!"...
Considering his condition and dizzyness. he had his will set on the one he loved..
correct or not ? I dunno. He made his decision. I think it was something that can be said to be quite unachieveable by others... The passion and everything he had for her.. I think he was Zai. damn Zai..
but some may say... Now is not the time to take relationships seriously and concentrate more on others...
I dunno... what is considered the correct marker of life, achievement, financial peace, love, passion and dreams. A clear cut marker to the society ? I think there isn't any at all... Its how one takes it bah..
quite confused bah... haha... but am I be able to be like ZX, or I shall hide my feelings away.. corrrect mah? another question without an answer..
haha~... still to be a better man~~... thats whats now bah... Not to fall into my own flaw of dependency, assumption and stubbornness(too many other flaws that couldn't bother is say anymore bah..)
I wish Everyone to be truely happy and living up to what they are! And this Dream must true! haha~...
Must the world be Blessed~! haha~... Cheers.. Good Luck everyone!

Hey ZX~! Happy birthday man ~....
fun day spent with u sia ~....
let GG ikusan again eh ~!
haha~....
anyway... wish ur dreams come true man...
Dunno whats ur decision... but wish u happy lar~!
and always support u man ~!